Part 1 | Faint

January 31, 2016 - The day God woke my sleepy spirit.

The air had gone out in our church building, on an already, unseasonably warm winter day. While leading worship, I started to feel my heart beating out of my chest. My knees began to tremble, my breath became shaky, getting weaker and weaker. I lost all sound and sight. Next thing I know, lights out.  I had overheated and passed out, on stage, in front of God and everyone else.

I’d get “back on the horse” and lead again - however, It was different than any time before. It wasn’t enjoyable, I could only focus on what had taken place just two weeks before. I was so full of fear and anxiety, It was all I could do not to run off the stage screaming.

I was completely consumed with terror and dread of the “what-if’s.”
“What if it happens again.”
“What if I’ve become a distraction.”
“What if I need to quit leading.”
“What if the anxiety NEVER goes away.”

Suffering full on panic attacks and even passing out another time, the enemy had me right where he wanted me, and this was war.

Since this was war, I needed a strategy. A plan of action. Scripture became my armor, sharper than any two-edged sword. (Heb. 4:12.) I also spent several weeks in a study called “The Armor of God” eye-opening read!

I needed an arsenal full of truth to launch at the devil every time I felt fear creep up.

3 years later, my worship (heart posture) has COMPLETELY changed. I’m not just reciting words on a screen, I’m defeating a real enemy and proclaiming victory.

Satan will try to shut you up - SING LOUDER; he’ll try and paralyze you with fear - GET UP and dance! “Where the Sprit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM.” (2 Cor. 3:17)

Nothing compares to witnessing the Holy Spirit’s supernatural power; through His peace (that passes all understanding,) I get to watch, as a room full of beautiful people from all walks of life, enter into a time of corporate worship.

May I never take it for granted!


Part 2 | Revival

Following a head-on collision, first responders prepared our loved ones for the worst as they attempted to rescue her, my brother, and myself, with the “jaws-of-life.” My mother had broken every bone on the left side of her body, the break pedal went through her leg and she would have so much skin grafting done, her body looked like a patch-work quilt. EMT announced her dead on arrival...


Years later, My precious mother (Momma J) would wake up with severe chest pain, unable to breathe. The hospital diagnosed her with Congestive Heart Failure, canceled her EKG test, and were sending her home. . A Nurse received the cancellation, ran the EKG, and found an egg-sized tumor inside my mothers heart. She died on the operating table from an allergic reaction to meds.

She was Revived.